Date two: Peter (found on DatingOver50 ) This one has possibilities: with a little imagination his profile picture could be of him on a private jet.
When Rosanna Dickinson, 52, goes on three online dates, the fellows don’t match their photos, lie about their age, and worry more about property prices than individual hygiene
Last week I reported on my exploration of online dating for over-50s and discovered which are the best sites for us (and which aren’t). Despite my initial trepidation about putting myself so out there I wasgoed soon ‘winking’ at and connecting with (and dismissing) so many guys I could slightly keep track of what I’d told to whom.
Eventually I narrowed it down to three dudes I’d like to meet IRL (‘In Existente Life’ – I know all the lingo now). Here’s what happened, and the ten things I learnt about online dating overheen 50.
Date one: ‘Unicorn’ (found on Match.com )
I nervously head off to a coffee shop te Marylebone for my date with Unicorn, the horned (and possibly horny!) stallion. His name is Steve, a father of three, grandfather of four. He is six feet tall, wearing a tweed jacket, and much more decrepit than his online photo. He is presentable and polite, but has appalling bad breath and is old enough to be my father.
He says he’s pleasurably astonished to meet mij (what wasgoed he expecting?) and the monologue, spil it turned out to be, commences. He is retired (obviously), conveniently off, and has travelled for his work te construction. He shows mij pictures of the plane he has bought, tells mij how much he bought it for, how much it’s now worth and about the programma permission for his fresh extension. Yawn.
He asks where he should waterput the kitchen. I don’t think our relationship has got far enough of mij to have an opinion on this.
The only other question he asks mij is whether my children live with mij. He doesn’t ask any questions about them, his only concern is if they are going to get ter the way of this burgeoning (not) affair.
He says he has bot online dating for many years but never felt a connection with anyone. I restrain myself from suggesting that asking questions and being interested te the person ter vooraanzicht of you may not go amiss. Spil I make my excuses to leave he puts his head on one side and, with rústico eyes and an air of desperation, asks if he can see mij again. No way, granddad.
Date two: Peter (found on DatingOver50 )
This one has possibilities: with a little imagination his profile picture could be of him on a private jet. Wij meet ter the drankbuffet at St Pancras station. He is nice looking but shabbier than his photo, wearing a checked T-shirt, jacket and jeans.
Through email wij are up to date on children, music and travel. He is easygoing, asks what sports I’m into and what kleintje of holidays I like, and the conversation flows.
He’s bot on Dating Overheen 50 for three months and bot on 15 dates. He says each of the women liedje about their age and their photos were clearly out of date. Honesty, he felt, wasgoed crucial te this spel, at which point I gulped and came clean – I had given a fake name.
His treatment to online dating wasgoed to go into it with an open mind and just love the encounters. Treat it like a spel, he said. He certainly felt he had his money’s worth.
Peter wasgoed joy, and nice, and común (whatever that is), but he too had that cultivador look when I said I had to leave. He texted within ten minutes telling how much he had liked meeting mij, what fine company I wasgoed and that he would be te touch.
Of course I wasgoed flattered but to play a good spel, I thought, there voorwaarde be an factor of cool, even if meeting through a dating webpagina. He wasgoed good company but I couldn’t see it going any further.
So when he texted again the next day, I let him down gently (I hope) with a cautiously worded text. I do honestly hope he meets someone spil ‘nice’ spil he is. (Maybe ‘nice’ is not what I’m looking for…)
Rosanna and ‘Rajiv’ meet te Soho
Date three: Rajiv (found on Tinder )
Two days straks I meet Rajiv ter a Soho coffee house. He is te his early forties and wij instantly agree this not going to lead to a relationship of any sort, and that’s fine. So, gratefully, he doesn’t ask any boring questions.
Instead, he instructs mij how to tweet and wij have an interesting talk about his political convictions. He tweets a lotsbestemming about his frustration ter Obama. I liked his tweet on the latest Cuadro Rinaldi advert, which claims that ‘women are back’, he rightly tweets ‘where have they bot?’.
I ask if he’s had any sexual encounters through Tinder but he admits only to late-night sexting, which he finds a big turn-on. He politely says he will leave it up to mij to be te touch. I hope he realises his wish of buying a tea plantation but wij won’t be going on a further date, much to his ease, I think. And there undoubtedly won’t be any late-night sexting.
Is online dating worth the effort?
Even tho’ none of my dates wasgoed successful, yes, I think it’s worth it. It wasn’t spil scary spil I very first thought, and it builds your self-confidence.
I liked the email exchanges with potential dates but wasgoed frustrated not to be asked out more. I wasgoed doing the running and turning into a predatory female, which i didn’t like.
Each date wasgoed polite and vensterluik dates are originally arousing. But it takes only a few seconds of meeting for frustration to set te.
I wasgoed attempting this because I’ve bot single for two years, since my spouse died. But he is a hard act to go after and I don’t think his successor is busy uploading photos of himself on to thesis sites. But it can be successful for many.
Embark with a three-month membership, and use a good profile photo, where you look blessed (I wasgoed more drawn to the photos than the written profiles). However, I found that what you write has a big effect. When I said I wasgoed looking for joy, banter and flirting I got a loterijlot more rente than a straightforward description of myself.
It is time consuming: you truly have to filterzakje through the boys on match.com, and I might have had more success on Guardian Soulmates if I had lightened my tone. More photos and an upbeat tagline certainly helped on Dating Overheen 50. Tinder is purely visual but atrayente, and I still can’t help wondering who’s waiting round the corner now…
Ten things I learned about online dating at 50
• Nobody looks like their photo. They are all shabbier and greyer.
• Everybody lies about their age.
• You know within two seconds of meeting if there is a spark.
• Guys of a certain age all ask the same questions.
• Guys of a certain age all talk about property prices.
• I may be feminist ter every other way but I still dreamed the fellows to ask mij out.
• Not everybody is after lovemaking. None of my dates mentioned it (except Rajiv, because I asked him).
• Conversation and companionship are of greater importance to most.
• Your profile and tagline are of utmost importance. Find your USP. Give a sense of mystery and excitement.
• It can be joy and shouldn’t be taken too earnestly.