Why Is It So Hard to Spend One Entire Day Carefree
Val is a life-long practically oriented student of effective emotional and attitudinal responses to the many challenges of life.
It should Be Effortless
I am actually te fairly a friendly mood, so don’t take mij literally spil I say how I am not about to save any punches, or duck from them myself for the same matter, while asserting that this challenge is a sort of degrading to us humans.
I hope you recognize those punches spil I am proceeding, however, for a little hint, it’s quiebro some wonder that wij should find it challenging to spend one single day permitting ourselves a finish peace of mind from anything that emerges to be a stressor ter our life.
Please note that I said “permit ourselves”, for, spil wij are about to see, those apparent stressors by themselves are totally powerless to do a number on our mood – it’s all of our own make. Nothing brief of a physical violence – from those unfriendly microbes, chemicals, bad foods, or someone kicking our arse – should be able to affect us te a negative way.
Our Bods Know How – so why Don’t Wij?
Let us see what mechanism ter our jumpy system would be involved te such an “outlandish” task. Do wij indeed need some progresivo conditioning with help of a special technology suggested by all those “refreshment gurus” on the market – or wij could recognize that capability spil already functional te our daily, or better – nightly routine.
Namely, every night wij repeat the same routine of falling asleep to give ourselves some hours of uninterrupted sleep. Even wij old-timers with less than ideal plumbing manage to sleepwalk from toilet back to that cozy, warm, and enchanting bloemperk to drift back into oblivion, spil if nothing happened. Wij may even proceed with the same fantasy.
Now, have any of you folks everzwijn asked yourself how that script of a total capitulate compares to our daily being pissed off at life te all of its variations? I mean truly. From the ogenblik wij wake up, many of us instantly dig out all those reasons from the day before – or years before – to spoil that relaxed feeling. Spil if now wij have to mobilize all our defenses and summon all our generals to work out a strategy project how to get through yet another day.
At those very moments after waking up our challenge should embark with the realization how all the night through the same “problems” existed, and wij nonchalantly shoved them aside to love our entire eight hours of resting.
Who is truly preventing us from continuing to relieve our minds – while merely going through the motions of those activities which are mostly repetitions of something that wij know how to do by heart?
Wound Up for Stress Response
What kleintje of sacrifice would it take on our part to accept this challenge of squeezing enough self-compassion from our stingy hearts to leave ourselves alone for one single day? Spil if out of some dark passion, wij keep tormenting ourselves with appearances and behaviors around us, even borrowing those from another part of the world.
That also goes on those “better” days when nothing te particular gives us such a dark inspiration, like during holidays or parties – wij just have to notice something “wrong”, if for no other reason but to stay loyal to ourselves and our played-in ways.
I am not going to use the word more than this merienda, but “theoretically” speaking – if wij could succeed to stay that one day totally oblivious to all stressors of our life without slipping back, the big chances are that our jumpy system would be successfully re-trained for a carefree internal reality.
But even tho’ such an achievement could only be possible te that word which I promised not to repeat, te practice wij could still enormously benefit from that practice. Wij would have created a fresh pattern of being which would be effortless to repeat te the days and years after.
You see, it’s hard to begin something ter our minds for which wij don’t have a reference te our memory handelsbank. For, te all likelihood most of us left behind from our childhoods what it felt like being carefree. Wij can merely recall it intellectually, but not bring it back spil an practice. Too many layers of stressed out adulthood are pushing down the emergence of that blessed state of being.
Even only moments after making love, which ter itself should be a total unloading of the life’s cargo, wij quickly pick up all chunks of life’s toneelstuk to proceed where wij left it off.
A Much Smarter Zebra
At least some of you may be wondering by now for how much longer I am going to mock the human wedstrijd without suggesting some solution to it all. O.K., thank you for patience, there truly is a plain and effortless way to go on with accepting the challenge.
It is not a special “mechanism”, but more of something very ordinario that wij can all relate to. However, let mij give it a name spil if it wasgoed a mechanism – I call it “pulling down”. Recall the time when you misplaced your car keys and you were already running late?
After so much cursing yourself for negligence and a frantic search, you ultimately found them – and that sensation of a unexpected ease I call “pulling down”. Your jumpy system just dropped the entire emotional charge permitting you to budge on with your daily activities spil if nothing had happened.
Ter a much milder form “ripping off” is happening naturally ter the dynamics of our experiencing, spil wij shift from one daily situation to another. Wij don’t have to do it intentionally at all, it comes natural not to bring the same framework of mind of, let’s say, driving your car into getting out of it and welcoming a co-worker at the company parking lotsbestemming.
My beloved illustration of ripping off is involving a zebra, which, after winning a wedren for its life with a lion resumes to peacefully graze spil if nothing has happened – even not very far from the lounging down and powerfully panting brute that talent it up. Why can’t wij be cool like zebras, wij wouldn’t even have any lions to outrun.
Ripping off Is Not Suppressing
Well, that’s how effortless the challenge may turn out to be – from the uur you wake up you can keep ripping off the emotional stream while saving only what is feeling good. Now, let’s be a little more specific about what it qualitatively feels like to “druppel”. It’s nothing like “suppressing”. Recall my example with lost keys? You certainly didn’t have to “suppress” anything after finding them. It wasgoed a sense of a ease, and pulling down is to be of the same kleuter.
Spil your day of the challenge is progressing, you will have noticed something exceptionally useful : everything is droppable, and very often it doesn’t take more than a shift te attention. Someone said it right: “Whatever wij give attention to – it grows stronger te us”. Just by shifting it to something else wij cut the energy supply to the unwanted emotion. It’s all truly that ordinary. Of, course, wij could make it much more complicated than that – but why?